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Another Life

by Roan Yellowthorn

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1.
Acid Trip 03:39
Always thought I wasn't good enough Cause nothings good enough for you Tried to tell you What I was feeling But you didn't want me to There’s a door that I’ve been holding open Even when my friends told me to let it go There’s I hope that I’ve been holding onto In the face of everything you've shown Yesterday I let it go When you know you know I've always had these strong emotions Like a compass inside my head It'll tell me Where I’m going If I listen to what it says I've tried all kinds of self-destruction Just to deaden that compasses glow There’s a lot that it’s been trying to tell me That I wasn't ready to know Yesterday I let it show When you know you know I've tried all kinds of self-destruction Just to deaden that compasses glow There’s a lot that it’s been trying to tell me That I wasn't ready to know Yesterday I let it show When you know you know I feel happy When I’m going on the road Somewhere new All alone my mind can wander I can do what I want to do My whole life is like an acid trip with all the feelings and the colors in my mind Many lives I’ve had to say goodbye to, and I think about them all from time to time They were hard to leave behind But it was time to go When you know you know My whole life is like an acid trip with all the feelings and the colors in my head Many times, I’ve tried to think of others, but I think about you instead You were hard to leave behind It was time to go (time to go) When you know you know (when you know you know) When you know you know
2.
Stranger 03:20
I liked you best with hair worn long  Dancing on the street  Swiveling your hips along to a four on the floor beat  Tresses combed against your head to show a widows peak  I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak   Oh I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak     Something hidden in your face  A studied innocence  Your jeans and white a line accent a smooth ambivalence   I couldn't look away from you  I watched you for a week  I saw you dance long before I ever heard you speak   I saw you dance and felt like you were dancing just for me  Uh oh    Oh I wonder what is underneath that macho man charade  When you're hanging with your woman do you move in the same way?  I’d know you just as well if I saw you in my sleep  I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak   I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak     I liked you best with hair worn long   In the subway light   Taller than i thought you’d be   Arms dangling by your side  I watched you kiss a stranger and you looked so sad and sweet  I don’t think either one of you ever noticed me  No I don’t think either one of you ever noticed me    I’ve seen you dancing on a beach and by a subway train  I've seen you with white makeup on   I've watched you make your name  You’ve been here with me all along  Your avatar at least   I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak   I heard you sing and hoped that you would find a friend in me    Oh I wonder what your face looks like  When all the lights are out  Sitting in a hotel room with no one but yourself  Are you happy with the man you are  Do you like what you see?   I heard you sing and wondered how you could be so free  I heard you sing and wondered how someone could be free    I heard you sing and wondered if I’d ever feel so free  So free 
3.
Little Love 02:17
Our little love we talked about it Who we were And who we’d be The color of your eyes They looked brown to you Green to me We talked about the world Like it would all be ours someday Someday always seemed so far away Oh lord Someday always seemed so far away Our little love we talked about him How he'd look and who he'd be The color of his eyes He’d look a lot like you A lot like me We talked about him like he would be ours someday Someday always seemed so far away Oh lord Someday always seemed so far away When I called you on the phone did you already know You didn't even seem surprised When you came to my door you tried hard not to show it But I could see the pain in your eyes Ya I could see the pain in your eyes I went into the cab alone it took me over like a queen The clinic had the tv on The food network Paula Dean I put the pills inside my cheek and said I was ok When I got home I threw that dress away Oh lord When I got home I threw that dress away You know we never talked about it How we were and what you’d seen Sometimes the experience It almost seems like a dream We left each other that with nothing more to say I still think about it every day Oh lord I think about it every single day
4.
Unkind 03:11
Your body next to mine Would probably feel just fine In the morning light I'd see your outline But you wouldn't be The way I think you would Nobody could be that good If I've learned anything Nothing's what it seems I'd only disappoint you Another shattered dream I'm not gonna waste my time needing you You'd only drag me down I'm not gonna waste my time chasing you You'd only drag me around I'm not gonna waste my time Waste my time Waste my time on you I'm not gonna waste my time Waste my time I've got better things to do Get out of my mind Its unkind I'm sure that you would hold me The way that others do Nothing would be special about you I can see it now The way it would unfold It's cruel of you to raise my hopes No ones who you want them to be You'll see it someday too You shouldn't take a chance on me And if you do I'm not gonna waste my time needing you You'd only drag me down I'm not gonna waste my time chasing you You'd only drag me around I'm not gonna waste my time Waste my time Waste my time on you I'm not gonna waste my time Waste my time I've got better things to do Get out of my mind Its unkind Get out of my mind Get out of my mind Get out of my mind Unkind It's unkind It's unkind It's unkind It's unkind It's unkind
5.
Vikodin 04:24
I said I was alone when I was with you, with you He called me on the phone what else could I do, could I do I went into the bathroom stall to take the call I missed the bus that day And had to walk the whole way I stayed up half the night to run into you, into you I thought that we were psychically in tune And I would find you I waited by the concrete wall in case you called In case you felt the same Just to see you again And I'm not sorry That I didn't tell him the truth That I was there with you and I was glad to be Cause the truth is I couldn't help it if I tried I needed you I felt it deep down inside It couldn't be denied Your body felt like Vicodin I chased it more each day Your body felt like Vicodin It took my pain away Took the pain away Took the pain away Took the pain away The night was cold you came for me in a storm, in a storm The snow was falling fast like me It was cold, but you were warm I felt so proud that you would want to walk with me In front of all your friends Just to see me again And I'm not sorry That I didn't tell him the truth That I was so obsessed with you Cause the truth is I couldn't help it if I tried I needed you I felt it deep down inside It couldn't be denied Your body felt like Vicodin I chased it more each day Your body felt like Vicodin It took my pain away Took the pain away Took the pain away Took the pain away I didn't wanna feel it How we were falling apart at the seams I didn't wanna feel it How he was falling out of love with me I needed what you gave Your body felt like Vicodin I chased the high each day Your body felt like Vicodin It took the pain away Took the pain away Took the pain away Took my pain away
6.
Vampire 03:23
Do you even know me I don’t think so But I wonder if you are connected to my mind When I'm feeling like I wanna hide from you I swear you can feel it and you call me every time It’s like you always know how to find me It’s like you just can’t let me go It’s like you don’t really know how to love me But you want me You want me to know Nothings gonna break you Nothings gonna work No bullet can pierce you No flame can ever hurt No ropes can ever hold you You always will escape You’re like a vampire Who's never gonna go away Tell me if I died in a freak accident Would you move along and say Well that’s the way it goes After all the time that I have spent on you Oh how many hours have I wasted Heaven knows It’s like I don’t know how to stand up Because you always push me down It’s like I don’t know how to turn away Cause you always turn me around Nothings gonna break you Nothings gonna work No bullet can pierce you No flame can ever hurt No ropes can ever hold you You always will escape You’re like a vampire Who’s never gonna go away Never gonna go away Never gonna go away Never gonna go away Never gonna go away Never gonna go away I wish I could trust you I wish you would let me rest Oh you're turning me into a monster I've learned from the best Nothings gonna break me Nothings gonna work No bullet can pierce me No flame can ever hurt No ropes can ever hold me I always will escape I’m like a vampire Nothings gonna break me Nothings gonna work No bullet can pierce me No flame can ever hurt No arms can ever hold me I always will escape I’m like a vampire I’m like a vampire You’re like a vampire Who’s never gonna go away
7.
Bloodline 03:34
Haven't felt this bad in a long time Nothing numbs the pain Everywhere I run to It comes back again It comes back again Haven't felt this sad in a long time Feel a little insane All my friends they tell me It's in my brain It's in my brain I'm fucked in the head I've always been Everyone in my family Pretty much is I try to be happy But I'm not fine Somethings there In my bloodline Somethings there In my bloodline Haven't felt glad in a long time Why should I be All the world is burning Around me Around me I'm fucked in the head I've always been Everyone in my family Pretty much is I try to be happy But I'm not fine Somethings there In my bloodline Somethings there In my bloodline Maybe if I moved to Australia Lived along the beach Gave up all my possessions Nothing to keep Maybe if I moved to California Sunshine every day I'd have a sunny state of mind No one could take away I'm fucked in the head I've always been Everyone in my family Pretty much is I try to be happy But I'm not fine Somethings there In my bloodline Somethings there In my bloodline
8.
Another Life 03:25
It's hurting me to feel this way My heart wants to go on strike Yet up until today Almost forgot what it's like To feel so alive And I wish That I could live Another life Just to see I don't want to hold you back I just want you to hold onto me And never set me free And never set me free It's been a while since I felt this way Almost forgot what it's like Hanging onto every word you say Standing on the edge of your light And I wish That I could live Another life Just to see What ours could be I don't want to hold you back I just want you to hold onto me And never set me free And never set me free And never set me free Don't let go of me
9.
Bad Things 03:06
Why am I so undecided I'm always of two different minds I get fidgety in silence I don't like to waste my time If someone says I'm doing the wrong thing If someone wants to take my hand It's hard for me to stay committed to my plan To my plan Make me wanna do bad things You make me wanna do bad things Make me wanna do bad things You make me wanna do bad things Is it so bad to want you Is it so hard to understand You make me feel like I don't need any man I can feel something between us I can feel it in the air Some kind of electricity everywhere You seem without inhibition Don't you know that I'm his wife You cast everything forbidden In a different light In a different light You make me wanna do bad things You make me wanna do bad things Make me wanna do bad things You make me wanna do bad things Is it so bad to want you Is it so hard to understand You make me feel like I don't need any man Any man Make me wanna do bad things Make me wanna do bad things You make me wanna do bad things You make me wanna do bad things You make me wanna do bad things You make me wanna do bad things
10.
Neon Sign 03:53
I don't wanna hurt you You're kind and you're sweet Don't know what you're doing with a woman like me I'm always so distracted I'm selfish and I'm sad And you're the best thing I've ever had You like to sit in silence I like to talk You like to drive everywhere I like to walk Oposites in many ways But somehow we're the same I feel better when I say your name And sometimes When we argue My mind goes in the red And afterwards I'm sorry For all the things I said Last night I didn't stop myself I wish that I did And I acted like a little kid It's a curse It's a burden It's a neon sign It's a secret that I'm hiding For my therapist to find It's a scar that I brandish To protect my own heart In case everything falls apart You're the one that I want You haven't gone away I guess you see something that makes you stay But I know it affects you The way that I can be And I wish It wasn't me It's a curse It's a burden It's a neon sign It's a secret that I'm hiding For my therapist to find It's a scar that I brandish To protect my own heart In case everything falls apart In case everything falls apart Why do I end up Hurting everything I love I can't blame it on my parents Or anyone else It's a problem I've gotta work out in my own mind Or else be left behind It's a curse It's a burden It's a neon sign It's a secret that I'm hiding For the next one to find It's a scar that I brandish To protect my own heart It makes everything fall apart It makes everything fall apart It makes everything fall apart
11.
Mother 02:49
I grew up in the woods by an ocean My brother and my dog were my best friends I knew the rhythm and the motion Of the seasons as they flowed through my hands There were things I took for granted The butterflies and the bees No matter what I was feeling They were always there for me They were always there for me Through the years I became more disconnected From the waters ebb and flow Always felt a hidden emotion That was threatening to show That was threatening to show It pained me to be far from the river It pained me to be far from the trees In the woods I never felt lonely They were always there for me They were always there for me All the chemicals they're pouring now All the pesticides they spray Oh my beautiful, beautiful mother Wasn't meant to be treated this way Oh my beautiful, beautiful mother She isn't meant to be treated this way At the store I saw orange flowers I pressed them to my face But the petals felt like plastic All the sunlight was erased They didn't smell like anything They were bred just for show And it shook me to my foundation to see what had become of a rose To see what had become of those There's a wilderness within us You can't see this crying ache For our beautiful, beautiful mother Who isn't meant to be treated this way Oh our beautiful, beautiful mother She isn't meant to be treated this way

credits

released May 14, 2021

Written by Jackie Lee McLean

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Roan Yellowthorn New York, New York

Roan Yellowthorn is independent artist Jackie Lee McLean.

Shows:

Waking Windows 5/14

sync: andrea@castlepeakmusic.com

contact: booking@roanyellowthorn.com
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