1. |
Acid Trip
03:39
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Always thought I wasn't good enough
Cause nothings good enough for you
Tried to tell you
What I was feeling
But you didn't want me to
There’s a door that I’ve been holding open
Even when my friends told me to let it go
There’s I hope that I’ve been holding onto
In the face of everything you've shown
Yesterday I let it go
When you know you know
I've always had these strong emotions
Like a compass inside my head
It'll tell me
Where I’m going
If I listen to what it says
I've tried all kinds of self-destruction
Just to deaden that compasses glow
There’s a lot that it’s been trying to tell me
That I wasn't ready to know
Yesterday I let it show
When you know you know
I've tried all kinds of self-destruction
Just to deaden that compasses glow
There’s a lot that it’s been trying to tell me
That I wasn't ready to know
Yesterday I let it show
When you know you know
I feel happy
When I’m going on the road
Somewhere new
All alone my mind can wander
I can do what I want to do
My whole life is like an acid trip with all the feelings and the colors in my mind
Many lives I’ve had to say goodbye to, and I think about them all from time to time
They were hard to leave behind
But it was time to go
When you know you know
My whole life is like an acid trip with all the feelings and the colors in my head
Many times, I’ve tried to think of others, but I think about you instead
You were hard to leave behind
It was time to go (time to go)
When you know you know (when you know you know)
When you know you know
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2. |
Stranger
03:20
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I liked you best with hair worn long
Dancing on the street
Swiveling your hips along to a four on the floor beat
Tresses combed against your head to show a widows peak
I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak
Oh I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak
Something hidden in your face
A studied innocence
Your jeans and white a line accent a smooth ambivalence
I couldn't look away from you
I watched you for a week
I saw you dance long before I ever heard you speak
I saw you dance and felt like you were dancing just for me
Uh oh
Oh I wonder what is underneath that macho man charade
When you're hanging with your woman do you move in the same way?
I’d know you just as well if I saw you in my sleep
I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak
I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak
I liked you best with hair worn long
In the subway light
Taller than i thought you’d be
Arms dangling by your side
I watched you kiss a stranger and you looked so sad and sweet
I don’t think either one of you ever noticed me
No I don’t think either one of you ever noticed me
I’ve seen you dancing on a beach and by a subway train
I've seen you with white makeup on
I've watched you make your name
You’ve been here with me all along
Your avatar at least
I heard you sing long before I ever heard you speak
I heard you sing and hoped that you would find a friend in me
Oh I wonder what your face looks like
When all the lights are out
Sitting in a hotel room with no one but yourself
Are you happy with the man you are
Do you like what you see?
I heard you sing and wondered how you could be so free
I heard you sing and wondered how someone could be free
I heard you sing and wondered if I’d ever feel so free
So free
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3. |
Little Love
02:17
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Our little love we talked about it
Who we were
And who we’d be
The color of your eyes
They looked brown to you
Green to me
We talked about the world
Like it would all be ours someday
Someday always seemed so far away
Oh lord
Someday always seemed so far away
Our little love we talked about him
How he'd look and who he'd be
The color of his eyes
He’d look a lot like you
A lot like me
We talked about him like he would be ours someday
Someday always seemed so far away
Oh lord
Someday always seemed so far away
When I called you on the phone did you already know
You didn't even seem surprised
When you came to my door you tried hard not to show it
But I could see the pain in your eyes
Ya I could see the pain in your eyes
I went into the cab alone it took me over like a queen
The clinic had the tv on
The food network
Paula Dean
I put the pills inside my cheek and said I was ok
When I got home I threw that dress away
Oh lord
When I got home I threw that dress away
You know we never talked about it
How we were and what you’d seen
Sometimes the experience
It almost seems like a dream
We left each other that with nothing more to say
I still think about it every day
Oh lord
I think about it every single day
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4. |
Unkind
03:11
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Your body next to mine
Would probably feel just fine
In the morning light I'd see your outline
But you wouldn't be
The way I think you would
Nobody could be that good
If I've learned anything
Nothing's what it seems
I'd only disappoint you
Another shattered dream
I'm not gonna waste my time needing you
You'd only drag me down
I'm not gonna waste my time chasing you
You'd only drag me around
I'm not gonna waste my time
Waste my time
Waste my time on you
I'm not gonna waste my time
Waste my time
I've got better things to do
Get out of my mind
Its unkind
I'm sure that you would hold me
The way that others do
Nothing would be special about you
I can see it now
The way it would unfold
It's cruel of you to raise my hopes
No ones who you want them to be
You'll see it someday too
You shouldn't take a chance on me
And if you do
I'm not gonna waste my time needing you
You'd only drag me down
I'm not gonna waste my time chasing you
You'd only drag me around
I'm not gonna waste my time
Waste my time
Waste my time on you
I'm not gonna waste my time
Waste my time
I've got better things to do
Get out of my mind
Its unkind
Get out of my mind
Get out of my mind
Get out of my mind
Unkind
It's unkind
It's unkind
It's unkind
It's unkind
It's unkind
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5. |
Vikodin
04:24
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I said I was alone when I was with you, with you
He called me on the phone what else could I do, could I do
I went into the bathroom stall to take the call
I missed the bus that day
And had to walk the whole way
I stayed up half the night to run into you, into you
I thought that we were psychically in tune
And I would find you
I waited by the concrete wall in case you called
In case you felt the same
Just to see you again
And I'm not sorry
That I didn't tell him the truth
That I was there with you and I was glad to be
Cause the truth is I couldn't help it if I tried
I needed you I felt it deep down inside
It couldn't be denied
Your body felt like Vicodin
I chased it more each day
Your body felt like Vicodin
It took my pain away
Took the pain away
Took the pain away
Took the pain away
The night was cold you came for me in a storm, in a storm
The snow was falling fast like me
It was cold, but you were warm
I felt so proud that you would want to walk with me
In front of all your friends
Just to see me again
And I'm not sorry
That I didn't tell him the truth
That I was so obsessed with you
Cause the truth is I couldn't help it if I tried
I needed you I felt it deep down inside
It couldn't be denied
Your body felt like Vicodin
I chased it more each day
Your body felt like Vicodin
It took my pain away
Took the pain away
Took the pain away
Took the pain away
I didn't wanna feel it
How we were falling apart at the seams
I didn't wanna feel it
How he was falling out of love with me
I needed what you gave
Your body felt like Vicodin
I chased the high each day
Your body felt like Vicodin
It took the pain away
Took the pain away
Took the pain away
Took my pain away
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6. |
Vampire
03:23
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Do you even know me I don’t think so
But I wonder if you are connected to my mind
When I'm feeling like I wanna hide from you
I swear you can feel it and you call me every time
It’s like you always know how to find me
It’s like you just can’t let me go
It’s like you don’t really know how to love me
But you want me
You want me to know
Nothings gonna break you
Nothings gonna work
No bullet can pierce you
No flame can ever hurt
No ropes can ever hold you
You always will escape
You’re like a vampire
Who's never gonna go away
Tell me if I died in a freak accident
Would you move along and say
Well that’s the way it goes
After all the time that I have spent on you
Oh how many hours have I wasted
Heaven knows
It’s like I don’t know how to stand up
Because you always push me down
It’s like I don’t know how to turn away
Cause you always turn me around
Nothings gonna break you
Nothings gonna work
No bullet can pierce you
No flame can ever hurt
No ropes can ever hold you
You always will escape
You’re like a vampire
Who’s never gonna go away
Never gonna go away
Never gonna go away
Never gonna go away
Never gonna go away
Never gonna go away
I wish I could trust you
I wish you would let me rest
Oh you're turning me into a monster
I've learned from the best
Nothings gonna break me
Nothings gonna work
No bullet can pierce me
No flame can ever hurt
No ropes can ever hold me
I always will escape
I’m like a vampire
Nothings gonna break me
Nothings gonna work
No bullet can pierce me
No flame can ever hurt
No arms can ever hold me
I always will escape
I’m like a vampire
I’m like a vampire
You’re like a vampire
Who’s never gonna go away
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7. |
Bloodline
03:34
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Haven't felt this bad in a long time
Nothing numbs the pain
Everywhere I run to
It comes back again
It comes back again
Haven't felt this sad in a long time
Feel a little insane
All my friends they tell me
It's in my brain
It's in my brain
I'm fucked in the head
I've always been
Everyone in my family
Pretty much is
I try to be happy
But I'm not fine
Somethings there
In my bloodline
Somethings there
In my bloodline
Haven't felt glad in a long time
Why should I be
All the world is burning
Around me
Around me
I'm fucked in the head
I've always been
Everyone in my family
Pretty much is
I try to be happy
But I'm not fine
Somethings there
In my bloodline
Somethings there
In my bloodline
Maybe if I moved to Australia
Lived along the beach
Gave up all my possessions
Nothing to keep
Maybe if I moved to California
Sunshine every day
I'd have a sunny state of mind
No one could take away
I'm fucked in the head
I've always been
Everyone in my family
Pretty much is
I try to be happy
But I'm not fine
Somethings there
In my bloodline
Somethings there
In my bloodline
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8. |
Another Life
03:25
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It's hurting me to feel this way
My heart wants to go on strike
Yet up until today
Almost forgot what it's like
To feel so alive
And I wish
That I could live
Another life
Just to see
I don't want to hold you back
I just want you to hold onto me
And never set me free
And never set me free
It's been a while since I felt this way
Almost forgot what it's like
Hanging onto every word you say
Standing on the edge of your light
And I wish
That I could live
Another life
Just to see
What ours could be
I don't want to hold you back
I just want you to hold onto me
And never set me free
And never set me free
And never set me free
Don't let go of me
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9. |
Bad Things
03:06
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Why am I so undecided
I'm always of two different minds
I get fidgety in silence
I don't like to waste my time
If someone says I'm doing the wrong thing
If someone wants to take my hand
It's hard for me to stay committed to my plan
To my plan
Make me wanna do bad things
You make me wanna do bad things
Make me wanna do bad things
You make me wanna do bad things
Is it so bad to want you
Is it so hard to understand
You make me feel like I don't need any man
I can feel something between us
I can feel it in the air
Some kind of electricity everywhere
You seem without inhibition
Don't you know that I'm his wife
You cast everything forbidden
In a different light
In a different light
You make me wanna do bad things
You make me wanna do bad things
Make me wanna do bad things
You make me wanna do bad things
Is it so bad to want you
Is it so hard to understand
You make me feel like I don't need any man
Any man
Make me wanna do bad things
Make me wanna do bad things
You make me wanna do bad things
You make me wanna do bad things
You make me wanna do bad things
You make me wanna do bad things
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10. |
Neon Sign
03:53
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I don't wanna hurt you
You're kind and you're sweet
Don't know what you're doing with a woman like me
I'm always so distracted
I'm selfish and I'm sad
And you're the best thing I've ever had
You like to sit in silence
I like to talk
You like to drive everywhere
I like to walk
Oposites in many ways
But somehow we're the same
I feel better when I say your name
And sometimes
When we argue
My mind goes in the red
And afterwards I'm sorry
For all the things I said
Last night I didn't stop myself
I wish that I did
And I acted like a little kid
It's a curse
It's a burden
It's a neon sign
It's a secret that I'm hiding
For my therapist to find
It's a scar that I brandish
To protect my own heart
In case everything falls apart
You're the one that I want
You haven't gone away
I guess you see something that makes you stay
But I know it affects you
The way that I can be
And I wish
It wasn't me
It's a curse
It's a burden
It's a neon sign
It's a secret that I'm hiding
For my therapist to find
It's a scar that I brandish
To protect my own heart
In case everything falls apart
In case everything falls apart
Why do I end up
Hurting everything I love
I can't blame it on my parents
Or anyone else
It's a problem I've gotta work out in my own mind
Or else be left behind
It's a curse
It's a burden
It's a neon sign
It's a secret that I'm hiding
For the next one to find
It's a scar that I brandish
To protect my own heart
It makes everything fall apart
It makes everything fall apart
It makes everything fall apart
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11. |
Mother
02:49
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I grew up in the woods by an ocean
My brother and my dog were my best friends
I knew the rhythm and the motion
Of the seasons as they flowed through my hands
There were things I took for granted
The butterflies and the bees
No matter what I was feeling
They were always there for me
They were always there for me
Through the years I became more disconnected
From the waters ebb and flow
Always felt a hidden emotion
That was threatening to show
That was threatening to show
It pained me to be far from the river
It pained me to be far from the trees
In the woods I never felt lonely
They were always there for me
They were always there for me
All the chemicals they're pouring now
All the pesticides they spray
Oh my beautiful, beautiful mother
Wasn't meant to be treated this way
Oh my beautiful, beautiful mother
She isn't meant to be treated this way
At the store I saw orange flowers
I pressed them to my face
But the petals felt like plastic
All the sunlight was erased
They didn't smell like anything
They were bred just for show
And it shook me to my foundation to see what had become of a rose
To see what had become of those
There's a wilderness within us
You can't see this crying ache
For our beautiful, beautiful mother
Who isn't meant to be treated this way
Oh our beautiful, beautiful mother
She isn't meant to be treated this way
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Roan Yellowthorn New York, New York
Roan Yellowthorn is independent artist Jackie Lee McLean.
Shows:
Waking Windows 5/14
sync: andrea@castlepeakmusic.com
contact: booking@roanyellowthorn.com
... more
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